Also, Rocket Scientists Pronounced "Brainy"

Is there anything more beautiful than the love between a celebrity and a major news organization -- or, in this case, Reuters? The wire service goes all shy and dewy this morning describing Julia Roberts' trip to the Tony Awards. To refresh your memory, Roberts is currently starring in "Three Days of Rain" on Broadway, and has drawn reviews ranging from the faintly positive ("I think she may have stunk a little less in Act Two") to the downright dismissive ("A lifetime of pain crammed into two and a half excruciating hours. I watch this performance and every unpleasant thought I've ever had coalesces into a vast, buzzing nimbus of misery. Imagine the worst toothache you ever had. Now multiply it by a million billion trillion. Now imagine having that pain and being seasick at the same time, and all the while a legion of demons are stabbing you in the eyeballs with poison-tipped pitchforks and screaming the awful, unnameable Song of the Damned. This performance is just a little bit worse than that").* With this as background, Reuters implies, Roberts' appearance at last night's Tonys constituted an act of classy selflessness rivalling Lou Gehrig's farewell at Yankee Stadium, not one more desperate attempt by a megalomaniacal publicity hog to shoehorn her mug into the public eye:

Hollywood's most highly paid actress, Julia Roberts, was panned by critics in her Broadway debut this year, but she may have won a few friends in New York at Sunday night's Tony Awards by eating humble pie...

Well, not so fast there, Reuters. A close examination of Roberts' remarks -- or for that matter, a quick scan over coffee and Danish -- reveals the self-congratulatory narcissism of the Movie Star lurking just below the skin of the Working Actor:

Roberts won a warm round of applause for acknowledging her lack of stage credentials: "I just want to take this opportunity to say that you people are insanely talented," the Oscar-winning actress told the audience full of Broadway stars.

This must have come as a tremendous relief to the Yale Drama graduates marooned in the highest balconies, or, more likely, unable to attend because they were waiting tables at Joe Allen. Good news, kids! Julia Roberts thinks we're talented! Now we can soldier on with our miserable hand-to-mouth lives for one more lousy year! Hey, that's MY Caesar Salad!

And what to make of the fact that Roberts' encomium drew applause, rather than the puzzled collective "Wha?" it so richly deserved? Only this: Celebrities can say any obliviously insulting thing to any damn body they please, and the only response it's likely to draw is "Thank you, Sir, may I have another?" Which is why it's so wonderful to be a celebrity. But you don't need me to tell you that. You people are insanely smart.

 

*Not actual reviews.

Comments

[zoro1]

duray-Love me or hate me, it's one or the other. Always has been. Hate my game, my swagger. Hate my fade away, my hunger. Hate that I'm a veteran. A champion. Hate that. Hate it with all your heart. And hate that I'm loved, for the exact same reasons.-kobe--Rolex Masterpiece watches uk sale

[swiss replica watches]

duray-I kind of feel like Swiss Replica Watches
the same person except more time has gone by.I hate to say that I feel like an adult now. I have to admit I wish I was still 18 , After all , even through the time while I was representing taht wild kid ,I really wasn't.I was just living my life . I was just not making movies at the time.replica watches quality iwc