God to VMAs: Yeah, I Don't Think So
Friday, August 26, 2005 at 6:02AM in The Show Business WANTED: Position for former Viacom promo staffer who had the idea to stage the Video Music Awards in Miami during hurricane season. Will work cheap.
Is there anything more loathsome -- and I include in this calculus puppy abuse and the "Deuce Bigalow" movies -- than awards shows? Is there anything more worthless and cheap than the sight of self-satisfied millionaires giving each other standing ovations and toting home thousand-dollar goodie bags? I don't think so. And, not for the first time, God apparently agrees with me. Let's all just wallow in the karmic specialness of the last-minute preparations for this year's Video Music Awards, shall we?
Hurricane Katrina, which intensified throughout the day Thursday, shut down MTV's run-up to the extravaganza, forcing the cancellation of dozens of outdoor concerts, poolside cocktail parties and promo events.... Heavy rains and high winds also prompted the revocation of all location shooting permits, starting the removal of tents, elaborate outdoor sets and camera positions as the precipitation fell harder.... No sooner had the doors opened Wednesday at The Doubletree Surfcomber Hotel on South Beach -- which MTV bought out and temporarily renamed Hotel MTV for the week -- did the city of Miami Beach step in and shut down the festivities.
I don't know what's more soul-satisfying here: The thought of Sean Combs running for his life in an Armani-soaking downpour, or the delicious prospect that Kelly Clarkson might have to spend Saturday night in a Red Cross shelter, squabbling bitterly with a family of nine over the last pack of Saltines.
It isn't that I want the spoiled crybabies of the entertainment world brought low, and forced to stare dumbly into the abyss of their own curdled humanity... Oh, wait. Yes it is. That's exactly what I want. Sorry; the deck is stacked so firmly in favor of celebrity in our culture that opportunities to see it foiled don't come along that often, and we don't always recognize them at first. That's just what we're looking at here -- a beautiful deus ex machina named Katrina. Please understand: I don't want to see anyone else hurt in this thing, even if it's, let's say, Ashlee Simpson. I just want to see her privileges curtailed for about 48 hours, and a reminder issued that there are forces in the universe more powerful than fame and more awful than United Talent Agency. So let's all hope the people of south Florida, by which I mean the ones who aren't flying in right now on chartered Gulfstreams, get through the weekend okay. And then let's sit back and watch the fun.
Reader Comments (1)
freelance writer