Breathing Again

We're breathing again here at Mr. Irresponsible World HQ after reports that missing teen actress Scout Taylor-Compton has been found alive and well. Honestly, though, it was touch and go for a while. My assistant Debbie had set up a little shrine on her desk and was running a continuous loop of 2004's "Sleepover," in which Taylor-Compton of course played Farrah; and Kip, our intern from the junior college, well, Kip was pretty much inconsolable. He just hunkered down in a corner and rocked back and forth muttering about how "Hidden Howie" wouldn't be the same with Taylor-Compton, who of course plays Madison, the girlfriend of young Alex Mandel, until eventually I had no choice but to have Debbie slap him.  There's some question about whether Debbie had to slap him quite as hard as she did, but I figure that's between the two of them. Anyway, now that things have settled a bit our thoughts have turned to the next young superstar to vanish. We don't know who it'll be, but we can hope.