I'm Going Out For The Evening. Dart Me Like a Rhino, Please.

Mr. Irresponsible may not be as well-versed on recreational drugs as some folks; my favorite central nervous system depressant is still a stiff shot of decent Kentucky bourbon, although in a pinch even bad Kentucky bourbon is pretty good. So maybe I'm coming late to the news that club-goers in the UK are snarfing down Ketamine at an increasing rate. If the name "Ketamine" rings a bell, you may have spent some time tranquilizing large animals. (Perhaps professionally, perhaps just as a hobbyist... it's all the same to me. I make no judgments about what a person does with his spare time.) Yes, we're talking about that Ketamine -- a drug so strong it can literally knock out a horse. According to the International Veterinary Information Service, Ketamine is one of several drugs used "both for induction of anesthesia and during maintenance of anesthesia for procedures (e.g., laceration repair, castration, etc.) lasting up to 1 hour."

So let's put this in perspective, because Mr. Irresponsible is all about the perspective. You're a 23-year-old club kid in London and you're out for a night on the town. You're dancing and drinking and laughing it up with your mates, when all of a sudden it occurs to you that the thundering techno music and migraine-inducing lights and general air of apocalyptic dislocation there in the club leave you a wee bit... I don't know. Blasé, let's say. What to do, what to do... Hey, I know! Let's all take a drug that was used as a battlefield anesthetic in Vietnam, where they knew something about apocalyptic dislocation, and which is strong enough to RENDER A FULL-GROWN HORSE UNCONSCIOUS FOR UP TO ONE HOUR WHILE A GUY IN A SMOCK CUTS OFF HIS TESTICLES.

Just a question: How starved for sensation do you have to be before this seems like a good idea? Me, I'd rather hit myself in the head with a hammer and watch "Rita Cosby: Live and Direct," which has more or less the same effect. But that's just me.