Announcing The Tom Cruise CrazyWatch

Mr. Irresponsible hates to flog a dead horse, but he also hates to jump off a living horse when it's giving him the ride of his life. So today's Tom Cruise story -- in which the tiny superstar breezily answers a question that's stumped science for generations, and then spikes the ball by calling a German reporter "arrogant" -- left me a little puzzled. On the one hand, I do appreciate the opportunity to draw moral lessons from Cruise's increasingly nutty and mean-spirited behavior; on the other, there are other things in the news, right? I mean, right? There must be. So I've decided on a small compromise. Starting today there will be no further items about Cruise or fiancee Katie Holmes, whom he has apparently had surgically attached to his right cheek. Instead, I've added a sidebar to track new sightings of Cruise in the wild.  Enjoy!